Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
