is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
