wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
