jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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