my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
