Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
