Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
