Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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