Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i've created a new STD.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
