If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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