your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
