I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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