Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize