I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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