i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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