you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
