how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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