I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize