you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
