maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
