you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize