Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
soo... how was my night?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
