yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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