Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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