mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
