I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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