hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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