the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We are two peas in an std pod
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
