How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize