he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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