I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
