I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
As shirtless as possible
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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