Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
