Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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