I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
