theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize