I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
