just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
