brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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