I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
