Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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