Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
