So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
