have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
