is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
