yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
