Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
