Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
