after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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