why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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