it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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