I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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