Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
