you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
