I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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