Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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