I need to stop coming to work sober
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
